You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
