Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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