Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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