My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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