so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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