Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
