Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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