I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
