If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
