WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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