I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this beer tastes like vomit already
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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