no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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