My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wish you could order shots online.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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