I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
