he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
