so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize