Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize