okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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