Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
