All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
