need another drink. this is the easiest way
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
