I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
