How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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