Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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