it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
