I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
