and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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