I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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