Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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