My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
