There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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