They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize