Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
