I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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