too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
