It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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