Please, let me fuck your mom
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
