I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
