On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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