Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Don't make out with my wife yet
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
