Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
