Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
