She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
