Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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