your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
