took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
