i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize