Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
