Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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