I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
