I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
They left me at home... I'm a liability
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
