Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
