A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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