im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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