we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
