words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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